How about renaming it Brad Pit Bull?

Posted by admin on July 1, 2009

Recently we were tapped to work on a highly controversial project… to rebrand America’s most demonized breed of canine, the Pit Bull.

All of us here at Eat My Words are dyed-in-the-sheep wool animal lovers with many dogs, cats, goats, chickens, Chia pets, Pet Rocks, and one very angry goose sharing their lives with us. (Not in a one-bedroom apartment, thank goodness.) Therefore, we are predisposed to love our furry and feathered friends.

However, we admit to buying into some of the myths and misstatements about the Pit Bull and committed ourselves to get educated about this proud beast, which was once known as “America’s family pet.”

Our preliminary research has resulted in the following positive findings:

  • Petey (a Pit Bull) ran with The Little Rascals and they all lived to adulthood.
  • Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba both own Pit Bulls, and they are hot so whatever they like we like.
  • There was a Pit Bull named Grunt in the movie “Flashdance”. The story is that not only was Grunt a wonderful dog, but is widely considered to be a better actor than Jennifer Beals
  • Cesar Millan says they are OK and he is the Dog Whisperer. We don’t know what the hell whispering to a dog does, but Cesar has his own show and nice teeth.
  • Contrary to popular belief, Pit Bulls do not have a “locking jaw” mechanism. The same cannot be said for Rumer Willis.
  • The Pit Bull Registry claims you are more four times more likely to be killed by a cow than a Pit Bull. Two questions. 1) who keeps track of bovine related deaths 2) how embarrassing would it be to be killed by a cow? How about a “roaring cow“?

All kidding aside, we have learned a lot of positive things about Pit Bulls and have changed our views. Pit Bulls have only gotten a bad rap because of their association with dog fighting and popularity with MTV gangstas. The good news is that the gangsta thugs we have spotted lately in the hood are all sporting itty bitty Chihuahuas ala Paris Hilton.

Like the breed, the new names need to be friendly and approachable. Our 5 favorite new names so far:

Rockwell Terrier
(ala Norman Rockwell)

American Spirit Terrier
(Americana, sounds like a top breed)

Emperor Terrier
(a Pit Bull type dog was given to a Chinese emperor)

Gettysburg Terrier

(Americana)

Relay Terrier

(they exceed in flyball which involves relays)

We’ll keep you posted…

———-

*Pit Bull is not a breed but a description of several dogs with similar characteristics including the American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier and Sarah Palin.






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