Subject: Order
I will like to know if you do carry kitchen sinks. Get back to me with the types and pricing for that if you have them in stock for sale. Advice if you accept credit card payment

Dude, our blog is named The Kitchen Sink but we don’t sell them. Try Home Depot.

Spoon Me. What started as a simple frozen yogurt shop in Salt Lake City, Utah is now an international franchise who makes cold, hard cash selling everything from bumper-stickers to booty shorts, which feature fun phrases like “Shut Up and Spoon Me,” and “If You’re Driving This Close, You Might As Well Spoon Me.” The merchandise is sold in stores and online and has even been featured on “The Real World” on MTV. (If the client had gone with their original name idea, Zenyo, how many t-shirts would they have sold?)

I Have a Bean. A socially responsible gourmet coffee company in Wheaton, Illinois is enjoying the perks of extra income from the sale of stylish “I Have a Bean,” coffee mugs and t-shirts. They’ve extended the brand with racy t-shirt slogans like, “Drink It Naked.” (We’re still waiting for them to sell a t-shirt with our suggested slogan, “Once you go black…”)

Stuff a Sock In It. This chain of Tennessee Laundromats wanted a name that would appeal to the college-student customers. They are cleaning up with cheeky laundry bags and t-shirts that sport their fun name and logo.

Hand Job. This sassy neighborhood nail spa in San Francisco’s Castro district is making money hand over fist selling lotions, potions and t-shirts with the name on it. And they are enjoying lots of free exposure from the thousands of people who walk by the store and take a photo of the sign.

To come up with a fun business name, look online for lists of puns, catch phrases and idioms. Try substituting one word for another, e.g. “I Have a Bean,” instead of “I Have a Dream.” Play around with words common to your business, e.g. if you have a pet store, ideate around words like, fetch, bone, scratch, paw, fur, etc. A great place to start is www.onelook.com. Have fun and let me know what you come up with!

Introducing Hand Job, a cheeky new nail salon that’s smack in the heart of San Francisco’s gay mecca, the Castro. Like our other “risque” brand name, Spoon Me frozen yogurt, Hand Job has tremendous potential to be monetized through the sale of lotions, potions, polish, t-shirts, totes, and anything else you can slap the logo on and ring up at the register. The jaw-dropping tourists on Castro Street are scooping it up. (Trust me, they do not sell Hand Job tea towels at the Mall of America.) Special thanks to John Luckett for designing a logo that’s playful yet sophisticated and lets the name speak for itself. We love the bold red color, which will make for sleek and sexy holiday and Valentine gifts.

All of us here at Eat My Words are dyed-in-the-sheep wool animal lovers with many dogs, cats, goats, chickens, Chia pets, Pet Rocks, and one very angry goose sharing their lives with us. (Not in a one-bedroom apartment, thank goodness.) Therefore, we are predisposed to love our furry and feathered friends.

However, we admit to buying into some of the myths and misstatements about the Pit Bull and committed ourselves to get educated about this proud beast, which was once known as “America’s family pet.”

Our preliminary research has resulted in the following positive findings:

• Petey (a Pit Bull) ran with The Little Rascals and they all lived to adulthood.

• Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba both own Pit Bulls, and they are hot so whatever they like we like.

• There was a Pit Bull named Grunt in the movie “Flashdance”. The story is that not only was Grunt a wonderful dog, but is widely considered to be a better actor than Jennifer Beals

• Cesar Millan says they are OK and he is the Dog Whisperer. We don’t know what the hell whispering to a dog does, but Cesar has his own show and nice teeth.

• Contrary to popular belief, Pit Bulls do not have a “locking jaw” mechanism. The same cannot be said for Rumer Willis.

• The Pit Bull Registry claims you are more four times more likely to be killed by a cow than a Pit Bull. Two questions. 1) who keeps track of bovine related deaths 2) how embarrassing would it be to be killed by a cow? How about a “roaring cow“?

All kidding aside, we have learned a lot of positive things about Pit Bulls and have changed our views. Pit Bulls have only gotten a bad rap because of their association with dog fighting and popularity with MTV gangstas. The good news is that the gangsta thugs we have spotted lately in the hood are all sporting itty bitty Chihuahuas ala Paris Hilton.

Like the breed, the new names need to be friendly and approachable. Our 5 favorite new names so far:

Rockwell Terrier
(ala Norman Rockwell)

American Spirit Terrier
(Americana, sounds like a top breed)

Emperor Terrier
(a Pit Bull type dog was given to a Chinese emperor)

Gettysburg Terrier
(Americana)

Relay Terrier
(they exceed in flyball which involves relays)

We’ll keep you posted…

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*Pit Bull is not a breed but a description of several dogs with similar characteristics including the American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier and Sarah Palin.

Keep an eye on our blog to find out what we named “Pete’s coffee.”