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You should get yourself to Rehab

A few months ago we got a call from entrepreneur Veeno Suchdeve of West Babylon, New York. He was opening a self-serve frozen yogurt store at the mall and wanted a more provocative name than Spoon Me, which is quite possibly the best name ever created by Eat My Words. Veeno asked us to create […]








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Debbie Does More Than Dallas…

If you’ve ever been stuck in voicemail hell, it may have been the voice of Debbie Irwin who told you to “Press 9 for customer service.” The voice of the Statue of Liberty, Debbie is one of most interesting people I’ve ever met. A former NYC stockbroker, she left Wall Street for Sesame Street when […]








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Not a good Valentine's Day gift: Fat Pig Chocolate

Unless you want to break up with her, this is not a good gift…








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Would you want to work in the "Harry Baals" building?

A former Indiana mayor who won four terms in the 1930s and 1950s is proving less popular with modern-day city leaders, who say they probably won’t name a new government center for him because of the jokes his moniker could inspire. Harry Baals is the runaway favorite in online voting to name the new building […]








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Wet your whistle with Pee Cola

Thankfully Pee Cola from Ghana is actually cola (and cola colored) and not a Mountain Dew knock off. Best served at room temperature. Thirst quenching? No. Hilarious? Yes!








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A painfully funny name: Briss

Our main man Mik discovered this baby… Briss is a (snore) cross-platform open-source Java application that (aha!) trims PDFs so they fit better and are easier to read on your eReader. Fun! We love this reaction… “This is outrageous. PDF mutilation is inherently wrong! At least let him wait until he’s old enough to decide […]








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Do they use coat hangers to groom them?

“Doggie Dearest,” Manhattan a dog and cat grooming parlor, has a name that might appear innocent to some, but insiders (like our name spotter, Gary Castille), are in on the joke. Inspired by the campy cult classic film,”Mommy Dearest,” (a 1981 biographical drama about actress Joan Crawford),  Doggie Dearest is a nod to this infamous […]








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This name makes me want to reach for the barf bag

Advertised on the back of a headrest is “Gold Embryo Corn Oil.” I’m not sure which Chinese airline this was on, but I do know the next time I’m in Shanghai, I won’t eat anything fried. Thanks to Risa Dimacali for sending this in and to her husband who wisely took a photo of it, […]








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Who wants to eat at Crabby Dicks?

Thanks to our pal Rich Binell of Get Rich Quick (one of our favorite business names) for sending us photos of racy restaurant names. Our favorite one: Crabby’s Dicks, a Delaware landmark who is monetizing their name with t-shirts and attracting customers with free balls.








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Here Comes Trouble – Naughtiest School Boy and Mean Girl Names

From BBC News Teachers spot trouble in a name British teachers think they can tell which pupils are likely to play up by looking at their names, a survey suggests. The poll of 3,000 teachers found more than one in three expected pupils with certain names to be more disruptive. Pupils called Callum, Connor, Jack, […]








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Introducing Hand Job, a cheeky new nail salon in the Castro

Introducing Hand Job, a cheeky new nail salon that’s smack in the heart of San Francisco’s gay mecca, the Castro. Like our other “risque” brand name, Spoon Me frozen yogurt, Hand Job has tremendous potential to be monetized through the sale of lotions, potions, polish, t-shirts, totes, and anything else you can slap the logo […]








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You would have to be really thirsty to drink this…

A photo submitted from our pal Rich Binell of Get Rich Quick!








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50 Funny Store Names (with photos)!

Best Week Ever scoured the internet and pulled together these 50 store names that have fun with puns. Enjoy! 50. 49. 48. 47. 46 More Pun Stores (Seriously) After the cut. And they’re pretty much all brilliant. 46. 45. 44. 43. 42. 41. 40. 39. 38. 37. 36. 35. 34. 33. 32. 31. 30. 29. […]








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Hail to the Obama Ch-Ch-Chia Pet

Mik spotted this latest product to cash-in on the Obama name… From the website:Can you grow one? YES YOU CAN.Easy to do… Fun to Grow.Full growth 1-2 weeksReuse your Chia indefinitelyContains: Chia Obama handmade planter Chia Seed packet for 3 plantings Convenient Drip Tray Planting and care instruction sheet








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A not very lady-like name…

Another bad name submitted by my friend, humor columnist Mary Hanna… unbelievably, this company is owned by 3 women.








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I am not making this up!

My friend, humor columnist Mary Hanna sent me this photo of a new lens cleaner that she spotted. Mary reports that she asked the clerk why they called the product “Cat Crap” and the clerk said, “Well, it made you look at it!”








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The onomatopoeia for a phlegmy cough

Mik was in the hippie health section of the grocery store yesterday and came across this Head Scratcher, Umcka. I believe “umcka” is the sound one makes when trying to clear phlegm from their throat, making this irritating name an onomatopoeia, or what is also called imitative harmony (or in this case, an irritative harmony). […]








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Tender, Juicy Obama Fingers Hit the Shelves

Our friend and fellow namer Anthony Shore tipped us off to this unfortunately-named new product, as reported in the dishy German blog Spiegel Online International:Tender, Juicy Obama Fingers Hit the ShelvesBy Charles HawleyA German frozen food company hopes to raise sales with a new product: Obama fingers. The tender, fried chicken bits come with a […]








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Wake up and smell the Amsterdam Coffee House.

An article in today’s Wall Street Journal talks about fragrance trends in consumer cleaning products. The scents of pine forests and lemon groves have been upped by “a wildly varied bouquet” including mandarin-lime detergent, lavender vanilla disinfectant and eucalyptus mint toilet bowl cleaners. Although we can’t find any mention of it online, the article says […]








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No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else

The “Butt” in this road, in South Yorkshire, probably refers to a container for collecting water.We recently found this in the Europe edition of The New York Times… No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else By SARAH LYALLPublished: January 22, 2009CRAPSTONE, England — When ordering things by telephone, Stewart Pearce tends to take a […]








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What’s The Worst Band Name, Like, Ever?

Music Blogs > The MOJO Blog > What’s The Worst Band Name, Like, Ever? What’s The Worst Band Name, Like, Ever? Posted Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:16pm PST by Martin Aston in The MOJO Blog Puddle Of Mudd? Toad The Wet Sprocket? Or one of those terrible emo groups called things like Car Parked Selfishly […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! ______________________________________________________ A new government acronym is […]








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Doctor slang is a dying art.

Is doctor slang on the wane? From the BBC The inventive language created by doctors the world over to insult their patients – or each other – is in danger of becoming extinct. So says a doctor who has spent four years charting more than 200 colourful examples. Medicine is a profession already overflowing with […]








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Frigid, Mixin' Vixens Stuff a Sock In It

If you guessed that Frigid, Mixin’ Vixens, and Stuff a Sock In It are all cool brand names created by Eat My Words, congratulations! Bonus points if you figured out that Frigid is the name of a gourmet ice cream store, Mixin’ Vixens is an all-women bartender service, and Stuff a Sock In It is […]








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TechCrunch – hopefully the products are waaaay better than the names

TechCrunch50 says this about itself. They have a “simple goal: find the best start-ups and launch them in front of our industry’s most influential VCs, corporations, fellow entrepreneurs and press. For companies who raise a gazillion dollars in venture funding, you would think they could fork over some money on a name. But, noooooooooooo. These […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! America’s # 1 Populist ! blows […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! ________________________________________ In the company most in the need of an […]








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Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape of names we are born with, marry into, or want to shed like an itchy wool sweater.

Today I got a very clever inquiry from a freelancer that I just had to share with all of you… “I’m a freelance copywriter with a name that’s hard to spell and pronounce. (But my parents were pharmacists, so I guess I’m lucky they didn’t call me Diphenhydramine — or Benadryl for short.) Although my […]








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Our name ideas for the McConaughey love child…

First of all, let me clarify that I was JOKING yesterday when I updated the status on my LinkedIn profile to say “Alexandra was paid a million dollars to name Nicole Kidman’s new baby, Sunday.” I wish! (I love the name Sunday. Very Tuesday Weld.) And now, more baby news… Hunkster Matthew McConaughey has a […]








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Raw Modesy, Unharmed Donkeys, Con Men, and other strange naming firm anagrams

One of our favorite websites for wordplay is the Internet Anagram Server. Give it a whirl and see what your name spells when you jumble the letters. (For instance, “Alexandra Watkins” = “An Award In Sex Talk” and “Drink A Sealant Wax.”) We ran the name “Eat My Words” through and here’s what we found… […]








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Oriental Mildew – a taste of Zimbabwe

If you have ever sucked down a mouthful of African river water like I did in Zimbabwe, where I nearly drowned in the Zambezi and ended up in Zambia, you will be delighted to know that that delicious taste has now been replicated (or at least it sounds like it has) in a new Zimbabwe […]








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This is no understatement

Nothing like a good cheeky descriptive name. We just became aware of a German männerwäsche store called, um…Balls. In case you were unclear of their point, there are some new print ads starring a couple of manly men, packaged as it were, to highlight the store’s specialty. Subtle they are not. Unfortunately, their website is […]








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Lolita Bed for sexually active pre-teens!

LONDON (Reuters) – A chain of retail stores in Britain has withdrawn the sale of beds named Lolita and designed for six-year-old girls after furious parents pointed out that the name was synonymous with sexually active pre-teens. Woolworths said staff who administer the web site selling the beds were not aware of the connection. In […]








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Ghana: Heaven for Namers

Before I went to Ghana, I had read that I could expect to see the country’s passion for Jesus reflected in the names of their businesses, but I didn’t expect 75% of shop names to have some kind of religious reference. Some of the more unusual names included included Blood of Christ Restaurant, Holy Canteen, […]








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Where's a McDonald's when you need one?

Some of the more interesting food names in Ghana…








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The secret to pearly whites

We think Pray would make a great name for a home pregnancy test, but in Ghana, it’s a brand of toothpaste. I picked up a tube and have it at the office if you want to come by and see that it is indeed for real. Ghanaian’s do have incredibly white teeth, but their secret […]








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A name that's generating a lot of buzz…

Eat My Words loves to name consumer electronics but unfortunately we can’t take credit for naming OhMiBod or any of their buzz-worthy “Acsexcesories.” “Simply plug OhMiBod into your iPod® or any music player and it automatically vibrates to the rhythm and intensity of the music. Let your body feel the vibrations as you get down […]








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This evocative name takes the cake…

Recently, my friend John was suffering in 102º heat and sighed, “I dream of air-conditioning.” That reminded me of the most wonderful cake shop name ever, I Dream of Cake, which is on trendy Grant Street in SF’s North Beach. (I have admired founder Shimnin Li’s creations forever and recently got to taste one at […]








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Best Laundromat Names

Writing about the dog wash Laundromutt (below) reminded me of SF’s hippest laundromat/cafe, Brainwash. It has sleek machines, live music, and you can score crack right outside. I love the wildly colorful chairs, which are so cool, most of them have been stolen. (BTW, the chair artist, Melisssa Hutton, has a piece in the Eat […]








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Laundromutt!

Our awesome StudySmart client, Alex Gramling, (who is the president of the Eat My Words fan club), tipped us off to this hysterical name for a dog washing place in Cambridge, MA – Laundromutt. We also love the cheeky name for their waiting area, the Barka-Lounge, where you can watch TV while you wait.








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Spotted Dick!

What lucky naming firm got paid $100K to come up with this one? (Yes, it’s real. I spotted it at my local Safeway last week.) From Wikipedia: Spotted Dick is a steamed pudding, containing dried fruits, usually currants. The dessert is especially popular in the United Kingdom, usually served either with custard or with butter […]








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A long overdue book: The No Asshole Rule

Another juicy business book that I couldn’t put down on my recent vacation was The No Asshole Rule by Bob Sutton. Where was this book when I worked for ad agency tyrants and needed Christmas gifts for them? One of the reasons I started Eat My Words was so that I wouldn’t have to work […]








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What the mel?

Who came up with this doosey? (Probably the same person who invented the word “doosey.”) (Thanks to our web designer, Skott Reader of Monkey Girl Graphics, for sending this our way.)








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Talk Dirty to Me

One of my students, Jesse, emailed me and said, “We’re working on a project for this new company that comes to your house and cleans up your dog poop for you. Their name is “For Poop Sake,” and their tagline is We’re #1 in the #2 business.” I thought this was something their teacher made […]








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An Award in Sex Talk

No, I didn’t really win an award in sex talk. But that is an anagram of my name, Alexandra Watkins. I swear. (You know I swear because I have an award in sex talk.) Seriously, do the math: Alexandra Watkins = An Award in Sex Talk Here’s another one: Alexandra Watkins = Drink a Sealant […]








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This wouldn't fit on a drive-thru menu

I love reading the blog of Tom Colicchio, the sexy Top Chef judge who just opened ‘WichCraft near the new Bloomies. Here he perfectly sums up why I have absolutely no interest in writing restaurant menus… “The other night I ate a great dish: Napoleon of Sourdough Brioche, Artisan Cheddar and minced, aged Hereford, garnished […]








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The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

My namer pal Amy Sherman sent this to me and I had to share it… When naming a company, it’s crucial that you look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies […]








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