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Announcing the most frightful brand name of 2011… the Head Scratcher of the Year goes to…

There have been some awful names in the past year. Find out which one was the worst.








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What kind of sick company names a product in honor of a Nazi death camp?

Trust me. There is nothing even remotely funny about a gas chamber. My 1999 visit to the Bergen Belsen concentration camp in northern Germany was hands-down the most sobering experience of my life and one of the most unforgettable travel experiences I’ve ever had. I was reading The Diary of Anne Frank at the time […]








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Not a good Valentine's Day gift: Fat Pig Chocolate

Unless you want to break up with her, this is not a good gift…








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Announcing the worst brand name of 2010…

Putting the “wow” in bad spelling and impossible pronunciation, is Shwowp, Eat My Words’ Head Scratcher of the Year Winner for the worst brand name of 2010. It was a heated competition with other contenders including Retardex Toothpaste (need we say more), Morongo Casino (where ‘morons go’ to gamble?), and iSwipe (say it out loud). […]








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Whose name will be revealed as the worst of 2010?

We are getting ready to announce the worst brand name of 2010 – the winner of the Eat My Words’ annual Head Scratcher of the year showdown… stay tuned here for the big announcement later this week…








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Wet your whistle with Pee Cola

Thankfully Pee Cola from Ghana is actually cola (and cola colored) and not a Mountain Dew knock off. Best served at room temperature. Thirst quenching? No. Hilarious? Yes!








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Homo Milk. "Every drop delicious."

A Canadian product named Homo Milk is just WRONG. Equally disturbing is the suggestive photo of the innocent young boy pictured drinking it on the Island Farms website, especially with the provocative tagline, “Every drop delicious.” Are you serious, Canada?








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This name makes me want to reach for the barf bag

Advertised on the back of a headrest is “Gold Embryo Corn Oil.” I’m not sure which Chinese airline this was on, but I do know the next time I’m in Shanghai, I won’t eat anything fried. Thanks to Risa Dimacali for sending this in and to her husband who wisely took a photo of it, […]








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We-bonics

Dating websites have some of the weirdest names. We thought Zoosk was bad but this one really threw me for a loop: howaboutwe.com. I thought they couldn’t get the domain “howboutus.com” so they we’re going for a grammatically incorrect name. The site reveals “How About We…” is the actual name, but not having an ellipse […]








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Vote for the worst brand name of the year in our catty Headscratcher Contest

Vote for the worst brand name of 2009 in our third annual Headscratcher of the Year contest. Past winners include Xobni and Shryk. How can you tell if a name sucks? It’s hard to spell, pronounce, decipher, meaningless to the audience, void of emotion, a copycat, or just gives you the heebie jeebies. (See the […]








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New "Head Scratcher of the Year" Contender: Chyngle

OMG, their name as confusing as what they do… “Chyngle is the first mobile location-based service to provide a venue branded ultra-local experience for users to interact and exchange value with each other and their surroundings within what we call Ultra-Local Environments™ or ULE’s.” Huh?Too bad the Chynglers didn’t see this before they paid $14.95 […]








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You would have to be really thirsty to drink this…

A photo submitted from our pal Rich Binell of Get Rich Quick!








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I must confess that truuconfessions is a truuly dreadful name.

Regular Kitchen Sink contributor Robin Wolaner of TeeBeeDee tipped us off to this truuly dreadful name, truuconfessions, which was clearly the result of someone thinking they were being clever by snagging the domain name for $9.95 on GoDaddy. (The correct spelling, www.trueconfessions.com is parked – why not just pony up the money and save yourselves […]








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Obama O's Cereal "Hope In Every Bowl"

Just caught this on Twitter. (Thanks Edith!)








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Marketing gurus re-name pollack to boost sales… and call it COLIN

Thanks to Kitchen Sink fan Igal Gabbay for alerting us to the latest naming disaster from the nitwit Brits…Marketing gurus re-name pollack to boost sales… and call it COLIN from the salacious tabloid, The Daily MailBy Sean Poulter06th April 2009 When the marketing experts at Sainsbury’s sat down to the task of trying to boost […]








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Brooklyn Restaurant’s Name Hits a Sour Note

From the New York Times… By KAREEM FAHIM Published: April 3, 2009 To the list of lofty names that glamorize the city’s fried chicken stands, like Crown, Royal and Kennedy, one Brooklyn restaurant owner decided to add another: Obama. From the restaurant’s perspective, the name change grew out of pride in the new president and […]








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Two Mo' Eye Sore Head Scratchers

A newspaper in South Santa Clara, California has created a web design company called ISOARS. Ouch. What’s really a shame is they actually have some nice looking web design and a playful personality. But their name is an eye sore and no one wants to have a site that makes their eyes hurt. I mean […]








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The onomatopoeia for a phlegmy cough

Mik was in the hippie health section of the grocery store yesterday and came across this Head Scratcher, Umcka. I believe “umcka” is the sound one makes when trying to clear phlegm from their throat, making this irritating name an onomatopoeia, or what is also called imitative harmony (or in this case, an irritative harmony). […]








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Scientists need to stop naming things

The latest entry into the Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of fame is a Scitable, new elearning portal from the prestigious Nature Publishing Group, the world’s leading publisher of science. Created by mad scientists, this name was tested on lab rats. Thanks to Igal Gabbay for alerting us to this unfortunate blunder.








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Open Source – say it outloud – yikes!

Open Source sounds like Open Sores. Ouch!








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Announcing the worst name of 2008

What happens when software engineers drink and play Scrabble?Thanks to all of you who voted in the 2008 Head Scratcher “worst name of the year” contest. This cheeky annual award, created by naming firm Eat My Words (that would be us), is inspired by our no-brainer philosophy, “A name should make you smile, instead of […]








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Radisson Blu It

We are all for name changes. In fact we encourage it, in many cases. However, this one from Radisson is odd. First take a look at this from their website: “As time goes by, your much loved Radisson SAS Hotels & Resorts will change their name to Radisson Blu. This is not a revolution but […]








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Vote For the Worst Brand Name of 2008

All year long we compile the biggest brand name “Head Scratchers” in our blog. Now you can vote for the worst one and help induct it into the Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of Fame. Based on criteria from the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH name evaluation test, here are what we consider […]








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Bad to the Xohm

One of our favorite really really bad names and contender for 2008’s Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of Fame, XOHM, has met an early death. We previously ranted about this abomination as being wrong in so many many ways back in March and our opinion has not improved. The merger with Clearwire has provided […]








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NameTag®, You’re Not It

We are always amused by our competitors when they glorify their naming processes as “proprietary” methodology and come up with mumbo jumbo voodoo jive to describe what’s behind the curtain. Sometimes all that behind the curtain is empty space. Let us say it again: Everyone names things the same way, but some just do it […]








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Houston, We Have A Naming Problem!

Our good friend and fellow name pro, Phil Davis of Tungsten Marketing, beat us to the punch by posting this in his blog. (His post was also picked up by CNN and we wanted to give it a shout out as well.) Houston, We Have a Naming Problem! The amazing story just broke today that […]








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Violent Offender: Cranergy

We have come up with a new name for the worst Head Scratchers – “Violent Offenders.” These are the names that are bad beyond belief. The first contender is the new drink from Ocean Spray called CRANERGY, the forced combination of CRANBERRY and ENERGY. What old-school naming firm got Ocean Spray to drink the Kool-aid […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! ______________________________________________________ A new government acronym is […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! Oracle announced its first hardware product […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! Nordstrom’s is advertising BCBGMAXAZRIA, which we […]








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TechCrunch – hopefully the products are waaaay better than the names

TechCrunch50 says this about itself. They have a “simple goal: find the best start-ups and launch them in front of our industry’s most influential VCs, corporations, fellow entrepreneurs and press. For companies who raise a gazillion dollars in venture funding, you would think they could fork over some money on a name. But, noooooooooooo. These […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! Bengal Star Receiver Ditches Old Name […]








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Beautifull Disaster

Beautifull! is the name of a new ” upscale takeout and delivery food for busy, health-conscious professionals.” We think this name is awfull. Really. What does adding an extra “l” get you besides confusion? We get it, you get “full” eating this beautifull food. However, we know anyone who hears the name and tries to […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and the naming industry and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! America’s # 1 Populist ! blows […]








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There's Something Rotten in Zenmark

This is a continuing series of postings that will spotlight other naming firms. We think our clients should have a choice, and clearly Eat My Words is not the only naming firm in business. Next up is the self-proclaimed “Last Word in Naming”, Zenmark. Besides being the last word in naming, they are the first […]








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Tasty Tidbits from the past week…

Sometimes we find juicy news not worthy of a full blog post, yet too darn good to not share with you. These “Tasty Tidbits” are digestible bites of news about new names and what we think of them here at Eat My Words. Bon Appetit! ________________________________________ In the company most in the need of an […]








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Namethis.com – you get what you pay for

We commented before on the crowdsourcing website Namethis.com, where $99 gets you a new name for your product, company or service. As we predicted, it has not gotten any better. The names generated are painfully bad, as evidenced by recent “winners” including: Kareero.com – Career Oriented Website /Personal Branding (sounds like a human resources magician […]








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VivaKi – They are at a loss for real words.

One of our best Head Scratcher scouts, Robin Wolaner, Founder of TeeBeeDee, alerted us to yet another new merger in branding land… Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but Publicis, the parent of Starcom MediaVest Group, Zenith Optimedia Group, Digitas, Denuo, and agencies such as Leo Burnett and Saatchi & Saatchi, said Chicago-based Performics […]








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We don't mean to be dumby, but what the heck is a Chumby?

Who, or what is a Chumby? (No fair looking.) Okay, it’s not brand new, but play along, kids… A fishing boat robot cleaning device for deck chum A Chia -Gumby A bank for chump change Rugby for chums Some kind of mutant six-legged octopus Our favorite client at Glu, David Zemke, a regular contributor to […]








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We pity the fuil who named this Cuil.

The latest Google wannabe and new entrant to the Name Shame Hall of Fame, is “Cuil”. The company says that “Cuil” is pronounced “cool”. Really? We think whoever came up with this name is a tuil. As noted in a catty write up in Silicon Alley Insider, “We can’t pronounce it, we can’t spell it, […]








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Interview with Alexandra in Toy Magazine

Alexandra was recently featured in an interview in EdPlay magazine, which is the go-to resource for specialty toy, game, gift, and museum stores. We think toy store names should be fun, whimsical and cheeky, yet they are often the worst offenders and biggest Head Scratchers. Case in point: abraKIDabra, F.A.O. Schwartz, Toys “R” Us, and […]








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Are you creative enough to be an Eat My Words namer? Take the test.

Dreaming up names can be a blast if you have talent. Of course the names created by Eat My Words aren’t your typical trainwrecks resembling encrypted passwords that some naming firms pass off as “creative.” Our names actually have concepts behind them. For instance, a chain of frozen yogurt stores named Spoon Me, an all-natural […]








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Namethis.com – $99 for a name and a laugh

The aptly named company Kluster FKC is using trying to use crowdsourcing (and $1 million) to name companies via their second venture, Namethis.com (their first crowdsourcing venture, Knewsroom went kaput in 37 days…ouch). For $99, Namethis.com claims to give you three world-validated names for your thingamajig in 48 hours. We had no idea that “world-validated” […]








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Naymz That Make Us Insane

I was interviewed this week by Inc. Technology on what the biggest mistakes are in choosing a domain name. I wish I had remembered this doozie – Naymz, which is the epitome of everything WRONG with a name… It’s seriously spelling-challenged (we’ll give it an A+) and beyond annoying. The cutesy spelling is downright offensive […]








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What's the (exclamation) point, SOLUT!

Granted, this company is not well known, or particularly interesting, but we can’t pass up a bad name when we run across it. In our sights today is Duracorp (hello 1950’s!!) who have announced that they are changing their name, logo and tagline, all of which is included in one graphic on the right.Some comments […]








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Oriental Mildew – a taste of Zimbabwe

If you have ever sucked down a mouthful of African river water like I did in Zimbabwe, where I nearly drowned in the Zambezi and ended up in Zambia, you will be delighted to know that that delicious taste has now been replicated (or at least it sounds like it has) in a new Zimbabwe […]








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Xohm – a name that should've been X'd off the list

As the Easter Bunny makes his rounds, Sprint has brought us an egg of its own: Xohm (WiMax Service). Eat My Words would like to extend Xohm a warm welcome to the Name Shame Hall of Fame. What does Xohm mean? No one seems to know, even the executives of the company. Atish Gude, Sr. […]








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Mxyplyzyk – a Superman name that's Super Bad

Submitted by our Sous Chef, Caroline “Ruby Sneakers” Leavitt, our most outrageous inductee into the Name Shame Hall of Fame ever is a quirky Greenwich Village gift boutique named Mxyplyzyk. The store claims “the name is inspired by a character in early Superman comics.” Ironically, they didn’t use the actual character’s name, (Mr.) Mxyzptlk, (pictured […]








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A lame duck and other names that make us cringe.

Here’s the latest batch of “what were they smoking?”Head Scratchers™ for the Name Shame Hall of Fame™.AflaceHarmonyInxight Federal SystemsesuranceVehixxpedxLegal ZoomWith a Twyst Aneres (Serena spelled backwards – get it?!!!) ALCiS (pain relief cream – ironic considering the painful name) Many thanks to Three Girls Media, who have a knack for spotting really lame names and […]








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Itchy New Head Scratchers

Here are the latest Head Scratcher inductees into our Name Shame Hall of Fame. Each name violates one or more rules of good naming and is hard to spell, pronounce, remember, meaningless or just doggone annoying. IN A CATEGORY ALL ITS OWN: Doggie DiaperPoochie PantsTinkle TrousersPeepersBitch Britches RANDOM NAMES: Quantum of Solace (The next James […]








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Bad Names That Make Us Insane

Here are the first 2008 inductees into the Eat My Words Name Shame Hall of Fame™, including some repeat offenders. Each name is eligible to win our #1 Head Scratcher™ award at the end of the year. Thanks to all of you who sent in suggestions. Keep them coming and we’ll post more soon. (Send […]








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Submit your most irksome Head Scratcher™ for the Name Shame Hall of Fame™

What can you do when a product or company name makes you cringe, scratch your head, roll you eyes, or queasy? Submit it to the Name Shame Hall of Fame™, the official list of “bad names” compiled by Eat My Words. Name will be posted here weekly and we’ll vote for the #1 Head Scratcher […]








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Where's a McDonald's when you need one?

Some of the more interesting food names in Ghana…








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I'd Like to Buy a Vowel, Part II

SPQR San Francisco’s newest 4-letter word is SPQR, a trendy restaurant, which gets gushing reviews for food, but like TCHO (see below), falls dreadfully short in the vowel department. SPQR is a little too much like SPOR. Eat My Words wouldn’t go near the word “spor” for one of our clients. It’s not something we […]








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I'd Like To Buy a Vowel

I don’t know about you, but I like to be able to pronounce the things I put in my mouth. (You know, that whole “eat my words” thing.) And if two consumer product namers can’t pronounce a $4 chocolate bar named T-C-H-O, that spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Designer chocolate begs for a hip name. The product is […]








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How to avoid an invented name trainwreck.

Names should make people smile instead of scratch their head. Especially invented names, which are often mangled gobbldygook. Start-ups and old-school naming firms fall in love with invented names for three reasons: 1) They sail through trademarking; 2) the domain names are always available; 3) they want the ego boost of coining a word. It’s […]








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What NOT to name your product or company.

We’re continually amazed that people trademark names that are spelled differently than they sound. In today’s word-of-mouth world, what you hear is what you type in your browser, so it’s imperative that your name is easy and intuitive to spell. Case in point: Takkle.com, a high school sports website. When Jeff says, “Yo Steve, check […]








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Spotted Dick!

What lucky naming firm got paid $100K to come up with this one? (Yes, it’s real. I spotted it at my local Safeway last week.) From Wikipedia: Spotted Dick is a steamed pudding, containing dried fruits, usually currants. The dessert is especially popular in the United Kingdom, usually served either with custard or with butter […]








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What the mel?

Who came up with this doosey? (Probably the same person who invented the word “doosey.”) (Thanks to our web designer, Skott Reader of Monkey Girl Graphics, for sending this our way.)








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