Boastful Bios


Sous Chef

Our superstar namer, Jake, is one of the few human beings ever to earn an “A” on the original Eat My Words Namer Test, which asks creative people to send us “20 names for an external hard drive that stores an enormous amount of data.” Not only did Jake steer clear of the usual nonsense names (Externomator, Brainbanquet, and KpacityZenormous), he invented metaphorical titles unlike any we had seen before.

Jake’s latest triumph is creating the brand name ‘Boxbee‘ for a full service storage company, which is the new darling of the start-up world. Jake got a bonus and Alexandra gets free storage for life.

Jake loves all things outdoors, eco-smart and green. As a writer for a national outdoor magazine where he gets to wax poetic about nature, Jake has become a master of metaphors, subliminal hinting, imagery, and everything else that kindles the imagination. His ideal day involves rock climbing, a wine-tasting, and a candlelit dinner sprinkled with notes of Chopin.

Before joining Eat My Words, Jake was a modern day Dr. Doolittle, surrounding himself with a menagerie of exotic (but legal) pets, which he would christen with metaphorical names: Slinky the ferret, Tank the hedgehog, and Bubbles the dog (who was a mouth-foamer). The animals are happy that he’s moved on to inanimate objects. And so are we.

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