Oh dear God! My favorite sexy blonde housewife, Alexis Bellino (aka “Jesus Barbie”) of Bravo TV’s Real Housewives of Orange County, has made the ultimate naming sin – according to my research on Boobpedia and Power Diva Productions, her new clothing line, “Alexis Couture” is the same name as a BBW adult entertainment actress and a Detroit drag queen (who by the way has held the title of “Miss Malebox.”) Talk about a name that sucks! WWJD? (For all of you heathens out there, WWJD stands for “What Would Jesus Do?”)
Naming Tip #1: Alexis, sometimes it’s okay to share brand names (e.g. Ford Explorer & Internet Explorer, Ace Hardware & Ace Bandages) but as a devout Christian, you shouldn’t be associated with brands that God forbid get confused with yours.
Naming Tip #2: When you are naming a business, make sure to do a Google check first and of course use a trademark attorney to cover your assets. (Page 1 Google results revealed the drag queen Alexis Couture, pictured here. I had to go a little deeper to find Alexis Couture the p0rn star.)
Naming Tip #3: Don’t do it yourself – hire a naming agency run by your superfan. Honestly Alexis, if you need a new name, the stylish women of my naming agency, Eat My Words, would love to help you… I personally am a diehard fan of the show – and I love your couture designs – with and without the sleeves chopped off.
Naming Tip #4: If you are crowd-sourcing your logo with a design contest, make sure whatever you are naming your business is “free and clear” before you have your identity designed. All of those poor designers are spending hours doing work that will never be selected (unless you dare to use that name, which I think is a massive mistake considering it would tarnish your good name and squeaky-clean reputation). You’re better off hiring a professional identity designer any way. You wouldn’t want to crowd source a dress design? Think of a professional designer as “couture” logo design.
Regardless of if you hire us to name your business, do yourself a favor and run your new name through the free Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH name evaluation test (as featured in The Wall Street Journal).
Best of luck to you!
Your superfan, Alexandra Watkins
Chief Innovation Officer
Eat My Words