Why should I pay for a name when I can just get drunk and play Scrabble to come up with something unique?
There’s  nothing else you will spend money on in the life of your business that will get used as often as the name.  It’s an investment that will last a lifetime. Think about how often you will say the name, type the name, slap it (and sell it) on a t-shirt, use it in an e-mail address, wear it on a name badge, answer the phone with it,  or tell people about your company or product, which you will of course describe by name. A great name will last longer than your new iPhone, fancy office equipment, and most loyal employee.

What are your fees?
Our fees vary by the project. Here are our current packages.

What’s your process?
We’re happy to share our process with you, but not with our competitors who would kill for our secrete recipe, which is as closely guarded as the formula for Kentucky Fried Chicken and Coca Cola. If you’re serious about doing business with us, please book a meeting.

Give me 3 good reasons why I should hire Eat My Words over one of your competitors?

  1. We are the only naming agency on the planet with the expertise and track record of creating compelling names that make powerful emotional connections with consumers. Names that make people smile instead of scratch their heads. For instance: NEATO (floor cleaning robot), VERBATIM (global compliance legal service), and SPOON ME (frozen yogurt franchise).
  2. We are nimble and quick. Unlike behemoth branding firms that require the client to slog through layers and layers of processes, people and meetings before seeing a single name, we can deliver a big fat list of highly conceptual names in as little as one week.
  3. While we’re all for being skinny, we don’t stretch ourselves thin by trying to up-sell you identity design, copywriting, focus group testing, ethnography and anything else that will distract us from what we do best… creating conceptual brand names and taglines that consumers love.

Do you do any work “in trade”?
If you have a giftable product (e.g. tea, flowers, coffee, chocolate, massage), we may consider a partial trade for services.

What if I don’t like any of the names or taglines?
While it rarely happens, occasionally there instances where people want to send their food back. These kind of clients (bad apples) fall into 5 categories:

  1. They don’t get sign-off from all of the decision makers on the creative brief they provide to us
  2. They provide poor creative direction or strategy to us.
  3. Too many cooks in the kitchen (We suggest you have one decision maker instead of a committee).
  4. They can’t get over their beloved old name (which they reluctantly need to change due to trademark infringement issues).
  5. They tell us they want a cool name but they really don’t have the stomach for anything bold and are disappointed when they don’t see predictable names on the list.


Are there refunds?
We don’t refund your money because we perform the work and have been doing this long enough to know a great name when we come up with it. It’s up to you to trust us.

To help ensure you like the names and taglines we send you, before we start our creative exploration, we ask you to give us specific examples and rationale of names and/or taglines you COLLECTIVELY like and dislike.

Do you guarantee that the names you give me can be trademarked?
We cannot and do not warrant that the commercial usage of any name selected by the Client is free of legal risks or liabilities. Final legal clearance and acceptance of legal risk remains the responsibility of The Client; therefore, the Client is strongly encouraged to do a full legal search on the final name candidate through an attorney before usage. Payment to Eat My Words is not contingent on final trademark availability, domain availability or the final name being selected from the list(s) generated by us.

Do you use internet name generators?
No, nor do we use our Ouija board, Magic 8 Ball or purple bong.

Do I own all of the names and taglines on the list?
Unless you make special arrangements with us, you are only entitled to one (1) name or tagline on the list for your use. All other names revert back to Eat My Words. Until you trademark a name, no one owns it.

What if my name isn’t available as a dot com?
The good news is that contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to own the exact domain name of your business name, even if you are a pure online business. Here’s why…. if you wanted to buy honeysuckle-scented candles (Alexandra’s favorite!) online, you would Google, “honeysuckle candles” and see a bunch of results and start clicking on them. Would you care what the domain name of the business was? No. Would a business name www.candlesonline.com or www.candlestore.biz prevent you from buying from them? No. Did we all freak out when we ran out of 800 numbers and switched to 888, 877 and 866? No. End of discussion.

The new name you came up with for me is already in use as a dot com. Does that mean I can’t use that as my business name?
If you named your new pool cleaning service Watermark, and Watermark.com is a hotel or another unrelated business, you are free to use Watermark as your name as long as it clears trademark screening. However, if named your new pool cleaning service Watermark, and Watermark.com is already a pool-related service, don’t even go there. (We try to prevent this but don’t do Google checks on names other than our Top 5.) By the way, we named an organization “Watermark,” and since Watermark.org was in use by a church, our client chose a creative domain name instead:www.wearewatermark.org.

How much should I plan to spend to buy a domain name?
The days of getting domain short, whole word names for $9.95 are long gone, although it’s not impossible. Here are some domains that we have secured for $9.95 or less: BreedTrust.com, AltimeterGroup.com, GetASecondWind.com, IHaveABean.com, NailFraud.com. Be prepared to spend $1,000 and up for a two word domain name, e.g BrainThaw.

©2019 Eat My Words. All rights reserved.


Sign up to get our dishy dispatch plus an immediate
FREE download of 10 Amateur Naming Mistakes and
How to Avoid Them.